asshole monday: the blue edition.

i read an article this morning, claiming that today (the third monday of january every year) is the most depressing day of the year. blue monday: ny daily news
although, i'm feeling great today. i don't have to work (thank you for having a dream, MLK, Jr.), i've started cooking a homemade chicken pot pie for dinner and i'm about to open a great bottle of Malbec (if you're judging me, then get the fuck out of here).
so i decided to switch up asshole monday a bit. just in case this day is finding some of you a little more depressed than usual, i don't want to be the reason you go over the edge. instead of bitching about how much i hate the world, i thought i'd share some warm and fuzzy thoughts.
first, as a precaution, and what i feel like is my duty as someone who vomits their thoughts on you every week, here are some ways to beat "Blue Monday".
celeb baking recipes to beat blue monday
beat blue monday

the golden globes

the perfect asshole

ahhhhhh...award season. the fashion, the celebrities, who is with who, who's wearing what. and i love it!
and i loved the golden globes last night. i could have used a few more drunks, and a few more slip ups shown on live television. and there was a lot of accents i couldn't understand (i'm sure their movies are absolutely wonderful, but this is asshole monday you're reading). but, i loved the show. especially ricky gervais. he is the best kind of asshole. i loved that his opening included a joke about kim kardashian. who was watching at home, just like me last night...because we're both devoid of any real talent...at least any relating to show business. i can at least balance my checkbook and do a PowerPoint presentation.
i love that he doesn't give a shit. he made fun of bieber. he's fantastic. and i hope they invite him back, again and again.

this rug i just bought

wee wee

i was looking for a new rug for our kitchen, when i stumbled upon this beauty for inside the front door.
i don't know about you, but this thing is hilarious.
i can't wait to come home to this everyday. i don't care if it's blue monday or shitstain wednesday. this rug is going to make me smile.
if you want to steal my style, you can find it at urban outfitters. i won't be offended. just don't tell me about it, or ever let me see it in your house. ps, don't worry,  i did also find kick ass rug for the kitchen.

tv shows have started back

love me some Damon

i'm not sure what there is to be depressed about, when all of my tv shows have started back. unless, it's that there's so much new tv happening right now, that my DVR can't record them all. and even that being the worst part, they now have all these shows on demand, so you don't really have to give up any of them.
quit your bitchin'. there are so many good, new shows out there right now. even if your job sucks, you're single (not on purpose) and you're just plain terrible, you can find something on tv to get you from week to week.

blue ivy carter is already on the billboard charts

proud parents

i know. beyonce and jigga have gotten a lot of slack for the shit they pulled in the hospital. and if it's true, they deserve to be slapped back to reality with an anvil (road runner style). but, let's give Hova a little credit. he put his newborn daughter's cries on his newest single. and by giving her a vocal credit, made her the youngest person ever to appear on a Billboard chart. dude, that's baller. Blue Ivy on Billboard Chart

90210 never dies

if you know me at all, you know that i love 90210. not the new version, even though i watch it, in case there are any references of the old one (purely research). but, the old, wonderful Beverly Hills, 90210. dylan mckay and his porche, brenda and her bitchiness, brandon and his euphoria, andrea and her dumb name, david silver and his lame music career, kelly taylor and her slut turned good girl lifestyle, and donna and her horse face. don't lie to yourself. you can sing the intro song, and if anyone ever started chanting "Donna Martin graduates" you'd probably find yourself joining in without ever noticing.
and this week, two of it's stars were in the news. it's bad news. one is suing the other. but, the story still made Us Weekly. so i don't give a shit what it's about. Us Weekly Celebrity News

and here's a link for the honey badger video because if you haven't seen it, you need to. it WILL make you laugh. and if you have seen it, watch it again. however bad you're feeling, at least your'e not constantly being stung by bees and eating copperheads. right?

have a good monday, assholes.

love & rockets,
sarah