asshole monday

 it's monday. if there is a better day to bitch, i don't know about it.

this morning, i went from feeling all giddy and loving the world to wanting to kick the world in the shin.
let me explain.

my husband is awesome. he filled up the car with gas while i was getting ready for work. as if that wasn't enough, he then left me the only things i could possibly want on a monday morning...my favorite Naked juice and a scratch off lottery ticket (read: the slim chance of not having to go into work, possibly ever again).

i didn't win.

and now, i'm at work.

asshole monday.

let's talk about what has pissed me off. and then you can tell me what pisses you off. this is a fun game.

the kardashians magazine.
total fucking domination. a magazine?!!?! an entire magazine filled with what the Kardashian's think is important. kill me now.
it's not that i don't get sucked into their lives, just like the rest of you. or that i didn't watch Kim's two-part wedding special. (i blame the tears on the fact that i myself was getting married that next weekend). it's that i don't understand their fame.
i will be the first one to give them credit for being savvy business women, and the whole family for seizing every opportunity to stay in the spotlight. but, that's about where i can end my positive spin.
as Dustin said the other day, when i mindlessly stopped to watch a Kardashian special about the younger one turning 16..."oh. my. god. it's never going to end. they're going to be around for fucking ever."
that might be true, sweetheart, but we've already been married longer than Kim was, so...nanny nanny boo boo.

casey anthony and her video blog.

this woman is a sociopath. textbook to the letter. and the fact that she hasn't been shot in the face is one thing. but, that she feels like she can surface again, makes my skin crawl. her blonde hair isn't doing her any favors either. i'll rip it out, no matter what color it is.
if you feel like vomiting, you can check out her masterpiece here. (remember you are giving her what she wants if you do).

girls who act like they are interested in the NFL.
you sound ridiculous. i'm not saying there aren't some real female fans out there. i actually can think of a few of my friends that are really into the NFL. but, the rest of you. give it up. stop acting like you're more interested in stats and yardage than you are in Tom Brady's ass. there's no shame in caring more about what celebrity is dating which quarterback. or admitting that the only reason you know the name of a certain player is because they were in US Weekly.

the bachelor

date me, date my hair. that's the deal.

i wait a very long time in between seasons, with hope and anticipation. and with last weeks premiere, all i felt was like i should find these bachelorettes a dunk tank and a handful of anti-psychotics. they probably picked this batch of especially ripe bachelorettes because the bachelor is a tad boring. i don't want to say dullard, but since i never thought i would say the word dullard in an actual sentence, there it is. he seems very sweet. and i'm sure that's he a great partner. but, that's not what me and my DVR signed up for.

don't get me wrong. i'm still going to watch every episode like my life depends on it. i'm just not going to be happy about it.

going to the post office to return something i bought online.

this is just a personal annoyance. and guess what, random store, you win. because i'm probably not going to go to the post office. it's going to sit in my house until it's been so long that i feel stupid returning it.

range rover won north american truck of the year.

not a range rover.

why, you ask, would this ever piss me off? being a loyal owner of two rovers over the past ten years.

i'll tell you why. because this is not a range rover.

whatever. the times are changing. blah. blah. blah. it gets great mileage, and i'm sure it's super safe. it looks a little like the bat mobile, and it probably has some cool features i would have never thought i needed until they were there. but, it's not a rover. since when does land rover/range rover give a shit about anything but being awesome? i don't like it when something completely changes what it is to fit a mold it believes it's supposed to fit into. and range rover...i never thought i'd be saying this to you.
you can read the article here.  the president of Jaguar/LandRover even said..."and I can tell you that we're going to market the hell out of this."
yeah, you are. because if i see one. i'm going to run it over with my real Land Rover.

that's all the ranting for this week. feel free to vent all you want. it's monday. the bitching day.

love & rockets,
sarah